On Friday night, after publishing a post that I was really proud of and thought would be really helpful to others, I received my first hate. It came in the form of a comment that said, in essence, that I shouldn’t be calling myself an army wife if my partner and I were broken up.
Since my partner and I are still together, I was naturally very hurt and confused. I was upset that my safe space, the place I go to share very personal aspects of my life, was being attacked. My first instinct was to delete my blog, lock the doors, and crawl into bed to hide for the rest of my life.
I have always had this intense reaction to believe anything bad that anyone ever said about me.
So when I saw this comment I instantly thought, ‘Yes, they’re right, I’m a fraud.’ But that’s not true. I only ever write about my own struggles and my own experiences here on the blog.
A lot of the time I talk about my relationship, and I am only ever honest about that, too. Yes, I sometimes leave things out but if I was going to tell you the full story of our relationship since day one that post would be 100 000 words long.
I write about issues that are impacting me now. I write about things I’m experiencing that other people might be going through, too. I write about aspects of being in a relationship with someone in the army that people might not be aware of.
I have been in this relationship for almost two years, and I know when a fight is a fight or when it is just us both being frustrated by circumstances. And I would certainly know if we were broken up. Which we aren’t.
I wanted to write this post to combat my feelings of wanting to hide away. I’m not going to give up on something that brings me joy and something that I have put so much hard work into just because someone felt the need to bring some negativity to the party.
And if that person so happens to be reading this post, all the better. I want them to know that no amount of awfulness or making assumptions about my relationship will hurt me or stop me from writing about my life. I am stronger than that.
My partner and I are the only two people who get to decide or comment on the state or our relationship, and I am pretty certain that if ever we do break up, I’ll be the first to know about it, not some anonymous commenter.