Having a partner in the army is hard.
Having a partner who never talks about their feelings is hard.
Having a partner with a Scorpio moon sign is hard.
From the amount of complaining I do here on the blog (and in real life too) it can be easy to assume that we are a couple that doesn’t work.
We fight more than we should, our schedules never fit together, and we don’t like very many of the same things.
But no matter how many times we’ve been close to breaking up because of how difficult it is to deal with time apart of because of the mistakes we’ve both made, there is one thing that keeps bringing us back together.
We love each other.
That fact has never changed, even when we’ve hated each other, too.
I’ve never felt like I wanted to break up with my boyfriend, I’ve only ever felt like that was what I was supposed to do if both of us were unhappy.
But sometimes being in a relationship just sucks. Maybe we do have an above average helping of bad patches and challenges, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be together.
My worst nightmares are the ones where we aren’t together anymore.
Something that has really helped me to deal with the bad patches in our relationship and avoid fights is to just think positively about our relationship. It’s amazing how easily I can diffuse anger about washing up not being done or him working too much by just stopping and thinking ‘I love this man.’
I think this is also important in helping me remember that as much as he annoys me or makes me mad or hurts me feelings, I love him for a reason – lots of reasons – and I have chosen to be with him.
I also make a point to tell him all the things I love about him, and to express how much I love him. I don’t think that this is as significant to him as it is to me, but it makes me feel good to know that I am sharing my positive feelings with the person I love.
Thinking positively is definitely hard. It means I have to let go of things that could help me win the next argument. It means I have to accept that sometimes he talks about current affairs like he has a uni degree in the topic even if he knows nothing about it. It means I have to decide if it’s worth it to have a fight just to have a clean house (this one I still haven’t decided on).
What I know for sure is that when I think positively I let myself feel positively, too. When I stop and think about how much I love my boyfriend I feel it in my heart – all warm and smooshy. And that’s what I want my relationship to be like.