As I’ve mentioned in my past few posts, I have a lot on my plate right now.
Not only do I have this annoying cold, but I’ve taken on more work, am trying to work on things in my personal life, and have a huge uni assignment due on Friday.
I’ve been trying really hard to balance these things but at the moment it feels like I’m just not coping.
Every time I prioritize one aspect of my life over another I feel disappointed in myself, like in all those other areas I’m failing.
At the moment I have to focus on this assignment, which is worth a whopping 50% of my final grade, but by setting my sights on that and that alone things like book club and self care and being a good army wife are falling by the wayside.
I feel like I have a thousand things to do and so many things to work on so that my partner and I can be happy and settled in Darwin, but I’m not getting anything right.
I so badly don’t want to disappoint anyone around me, even though I barely know anyone up here, but it feels like everyone can tell I’m a mess and they know I’m not adjusting to life in Darwin like I should be.
I feel disappointed in myself. I’ve put in so much work to get to an okay place in my life and in my mental health, but then one bad week can knock me back so easily.
It’s so hard to cope with the idea that having one thing too many on my to do list means that my whole routine falls apart and I suddenly can’t deal with anything at all.
I just want things to be good and I want things to be better, but at the moment it really feels like I can’t do anything right at all.
I really hope that once I get this assignment out of the way I will be able to focus on myself again, so that I can get back to a good place and be the best person I can be.