At the moment, my partner is asleep.
He’s been asleep all afternoon, starting when he got home from work and he’s still going strong as I’m getting ready for bed.
Now I understand why he’s tired, I really do. His work has been extra physically demanding this week and the weather has been awful.
And while I always try my best to support him and take charge of things at home when work is taking first, second, and third place on his list of priorities, there are times when I just really need him to be there for me.
This week has been one of those times.
I have just been feeling so overwhelmed lately with work, uni, my mental health, and staying on top of all the things at home all by myself (which has only gotten worse since my partner has either been at work or asleep for the past few days).
The kicker is that I’m slowly being taken off a medication I’ve been on for a while, which is hard enough in itself, but I just learnt today that being tearful and having crying spells is one of the side effects of withdrawal. That explains a lot.
One of the hard things about being an army wife in this particular situation is that when my partner is away or exhausted or busy, I don’t have anyone else to turn to. I have no family in Darwin, the different time zones makes it hard to find a time to call them when we both aren’t busy, and visiting is impossible because they live a 48 hour drive away.
I still haven’t made any friends up here either, and the idea that I still need to go out and make friends and find people to connect with just makes me feel even more overwhelmed.
I feel like it’s my job as an army wife and just as a girlfriend in general to always be there for my partner and to do everything I can to make his life better, but I think the perception of army wives supporting and serving and understanding their partner before anything else can be really hard for both people involved.
I find it so hard so just turn to my partner and say ‘I’m really struggling and I need you to be there for me’. It makes me feel guilty, because I know how hard he’s working and he is so tired and so worn out and I know he needs to rest. I feel like no matter how hard and how horrible things are for me I’m always going to have to put him first.
But I’m tired too. We’ve been through a lot and had a lot of change in our lives in the past few months, and I think it makes sense for me to be feeling this way.
I would love to hear from you about your experiences with balancing your needs and your partner’s needs. Do you have to put one person in the relationship first? How does that affect the relationship dynamic? Let me know in the comments below!